Well another week has trundled by,how fast is time passing .
Yesterday I bit the bullet and went to Swanage,my friend Carol came with me.It was Ray's 66th birthday and I went to say Happy Birthday to him and to wish my daughter Emma Happy birthday for the 23 rd .
It was a beautiful day , the sun shone brightly the wind had dropped and everywhere looked all washed and clean with the recent rain. The drive from Chandlers Ford to Swanage was easy no hold ups ,no road works,very enjoyable . I have driven this route now many times over the last 4 years with a large amount of trepidation in my heart.
Sunday felt different,I felt I was going to see them doing what they wanted ,to be together daughter and doting Step dad hand in hand 'swimming with the seahorses' just as Emma had said .
As we approached, Corfe Castle stood on its hill top commanding wonderful views both over the sea and over the land ,what a pretty village ,a few miles on Swanage came into view ,what was a small fishing port now a bustling venue for the diving community and holiday destination shone in the sun and the bay glittered ,smooth as a mill pond .
We walked along the pier to where Emma's plaque is , therw our flowers into the sea wished them both a happy day ,gazing out towards the harbour entrance we watched as the flowers bobbed along towards the open waters .I got out the brasso and polished her plaques ,then walked futher along the pier nearly to the end to do the same with Ray's plaque . A feeling of peace I had never felt before came over me ,at last all ghosts laid to rest ,just good memories locked forever in my heart .
O ne the way back Carol and I stopped at aFrankie and Benny's resturant, I had never been into one before it is an American run buisiness .What a lovely meal we had and what great polite staff .No hassleing just able to sit and to eat at our own pace ,to enjoy every mouthful mmm I will certainly be going there again.
Then home What a different journey that was from St Leonards onwards heavy traffic, .well it is The New forest and all the coastal villages that are popular with holiday makers and day trippers alike so as it was a glorious day it was to be expected and finally the M3 ,what should have taken us 15 mins took an hour .Oh well we were both feeling content so stress was not felt
Home and yes at peace .It has taken a long time and been a long dark road and yes I know I will still have bad days but not as many ,not everyday with the Black dog snapping at my heals
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