So we're into our 5th month of defeating COVID-19. These words made me laugh but there's a lot of truth mixed in to consider. . .
1. So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap?
2. Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do.
3. When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me.
4. If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly among politicians and bureaucrats.
5. Just wait a second – so what you're telling me is that my chance of surviving all this is directly linked to the common sense of others? You’re kidding, right?
6. People are scared of getting fined or arrested for congregating in crowds, as if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent.
7. If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal just because we reopen everything, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it.
8. Another Saturday night in the house and I just realized the trash goes out more than me.
9. Whoever decided a liquor store is more essential than a hair salon is obviously a bald-headed alcoholic.
10. Remember when you were little and all your underwear had the days of the week on them. Those would be helpful right now.
11. The spread of Covid-19 is based on two factors: 1. How dense the population is and 2. How dense the population is.
12. Remember all those times when you wished the weekend would last forever? Well, wish granted. Happy now?
13. It may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a whole vineyard to home school one.
14. Did a big load of pajamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for the week.
15. get yourself a lockdown man
billcc wrote: 15. get yourself a lockdown man


Don't need one thank you
These are Hilarious!! Thanks for posting CelesteB.
They were all on point but I really laughed at #'s 9, 10, and 14.
I was telling someone that I'm trying to find those rugs they have on the cruise ships with the days of the week on them.
I'm going to share this on my facebook page.
These are hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
Ladykym11 wrote: These are Hilarious!! Thanks for posting CelesteB.
They were all on point but I really laughed at #'s 9, 10, and 14.
I was telling someone that I'm trying to find those rugs they have on the cruise ships with the days of the week on them.
I'm going to share this on my facebook page.

Thank you Ladykym, I wish I could take credit for it, but I found it on my facebook lol. Share away.
we will still be in the same situation in 2021 and it makes you wonder what other viruses are linking around the corner in the future with different names.
hey ladykim #15 was the best
ian you are one cheerful guy
well Bill do u spend more time in forum than in chats?
Could someone tell The President when the 2nd world war was,
and COVID is not a game like TIK TOK.
scrummy wrote: Could someone tell The President when the 2nd world war was,
and COVID is not a game like TIK TOK.

Seems his history is as bad as his science!
Google BRENDAN GLEESON playing the pres in THE COMEY PAPERS mini series, Jeff Daniels plays Comey, Some Republicans want Gleeson to take the job permanently.
Joe Biden has asked Kamala Harris to run as his VP,

When Mike Pence heard this, he told The Pres,
You are my boss, but I will not shave my legs and wear a dress.
Dang !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo Scrummy
More reality checks! :)

1. People are using the word lockdown because they don't know how to spell kwarinteen.
2. Have you noticed that the number of selfies being posted are down by 68%?
3. I hope all the school teachers realize their students will return to the class using old math.
4. I've absorbed so many disinfectants, soap, and antibacterial sanitizing gels recently that whenever I go pee, it cleans the toilet.
5. I'm as bored as an Amish electrician.
6. Ontario has banned groups larger than 5. If you're a family of 6, you're all about to find out who's the least favorite!
7. Health Tip: If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can't accidentally touch your face.
8. My house got TP'd last night ... it's now appraised value has doubled!
9. Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly. Now weed's legal and the school's closed ... kids today are livin' the dream!
10. This is stupid. I just tried to make my own hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum & coke!
11. If you get an email with the subject "Knock Knock," don't open it. It's a Jehovah Witness working from home.
12. Day 86 of social isolation at home, and it's like being in Las Vegas. I'm losing money by the minute. Cocktails are acceptable at any hour. Nobody knows what time it is.
13. Tomorrow is the National Home-school Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all clear. You're welcome!
14. 2019: Stay away from negative people.
2020: Stay away from positive people.
15. You think it's bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home-schooled by day drinkers...
16. Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!
17. Since we can't eat out, now's the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We're quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants. I say we use them!
18. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???
19. Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this coronavirus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can't follow directions.
20. When this is over... what meeting do I attend first... Weight Watchers or AA?