if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!