I have been advised that to raise this subject under another heading is not acceptable so i will raise it under this heading.
Has anyone ideas on why the chat site appears to be dead. Graham puts it down to the requirement to insert in the profile a photograph and the times people are available is not suitable to all. He also says he has spoken to lost members to ascertain if this is correct or there are other reasons and by lost I presume these are members who are not returning.
I look for Bill, Brian, Pearl, Heisse, Griff, db, soof and others
Do any remainers have thoughts
Opening a can of worms Dodger? I've been here long enough to see that it is somewhat cyclical, numbers rise and fall as lives change. However up until about two years ago it was a fairly vibrant and busy place. Most days/evenings would find at least seven or eight people chatting about their day, the news or pretty much anything. Unfortunately, one member was allowed to attack people politically and personally, causing a lot of hurt feelings and quite a few regulars left the site. She was eventually banned, but it was too late. The site gradually built up again and seemed to stabilize until a few more like minded individuals have come in, chasing away new people with sarcastic or inane comments, ridiculous forum posts and rude behaviour. Their agenda seems to be simply to destroy what was a chat room with intelligent, witty, sometimes serious, sometimes completely insane conversation. Eventually, these too will leave as people refuse to engage with them, but in the mean time, it's certainly hit or miss to find appealing conversation. The solution? Possibly a breathalyser or mental stability test, but that seems highly unlikely, quite impossible to administer.
I think the existence of cliques also has a lot to do with it. When I joined a couple of years ago chat was great. There was always someone there and we had great chats, sometimes serious sometimes not but always good. Then came the occasional spat, as is the case with friends, but instead of getting over it and moving on some began rallying their other friends (their clique) against the one they perceived had wronged them. They were ignored in the chat room and people who weren't part of the clique felt the tension and therefore felt uncomfortable in chat, so they stopped going in.

In my opinion, and it's just that the opinion of one person, people need to forget about their previous spats and just allow the chat room to be all inclusive again. After all we're all adults and need to behave that way.
Sara2101 wrote: people need to forget about their previous spats and just allow the chat room to be all inclusive again. After all we're all adults and need to behave that way.


Never a truer word typed. For example..

Applemac wrote: these too will leave as people refuse to engage with them


and...

Applemac wrote: the solution? Possibly a breathalyser or mental stability test


Clearly, it's that attitude that is emptying the room. Many come to the chat room in order to chat and make friends, only to find themselves blanked by the cliques.

And then some wonder why the chat room is always empty...
:D
It's the peanut gallery keeping people away.

A little live and let live plus inclusivity would keep the chat room interesting. Respect each other; it only hurts for a little while. There are lots of good people here, but no one enjoys negativity.

Sadly, there is no urine test for stupidity.
Walker22 wrote: It's the peanut gallery keeping people away.

A little live and let live plus inclusivity would keep the chat room interesting. Respect each other; it only hurts for a little while. There are lots of good people here, but no one enjoys negativity.

Sadly, there is no urine test for stupidity.

the voice of reason! :D
In my opinion, divisive people and mini-cliques have taken their toll on the chat room at times. Good people have left as a result. I miss them. However, as Applemac said, things are cyclical and good people continue to show up.

The chat room provides tools to deal with such people; ignore, reporting, etc, are available. It is not complicated. Should we "have" to do this? No, but this is a symptom of the modern internet world. One cannot assume that adults will act like adults. Wherever there are people, there will be good times and no so good times. I would like to think we have learned enough at the age of 50+ to deal with things.

Do site administrators and moderators bear responsibility? By definition, yes. However, I would remind people that first and foremost, this is OUR site. Unless things are terribly out of synch, they are here to support us. This site is what we make of it with the tools provided. I would invite everyone to the weekly FUN quiz at 4pm EST where people have been having fun and lots of laughs every week.

I look forward to seeing you in the chat room.
Site administrators and moderators accept responsibility for the demise of chat.

Yes they should as they have not controlled the text and behaviour of some members.

Dodger
I cannot disagree with that dodger. I also agree with applemac. I am trying to remain optimistic (and naive). Bottom line for me is that there are many good folk here and WE do not need to let others decide our chat room fate.
Its the same on the forums I have been posting since April with my good morning post and the place is like a ghost town some days I'm the only one posting but can see there are members viewing if members can view why not take a little time to be nice and say good morning to friends and other members I need to keep going with this to keep the forum alive I can't understand why no one really replies I will say good morning and give the time of day to anyone no matter if its on site or out and about I have had a rough ride since I started this site with all sorts thrown at me but still here hoping new members will join and be nice to me.
Graham and Dod always support me they are top guys.
As for the chat room I don't really go in to now I have been in too many times and been ignored but if I do see anyone in I will try to get a chat I think we all should try and be nice and give the time of day to everyone and make the site a happier place :)
Carrie

You are so correct in your comments and I too suffered from being ignored after making the usual "Hello to anyone in chat" - the thoughts of being invisible springs to mind but after saying "hello" nine times I literally gave up.

I am guilty of looking at your regular cheery "Good Morning" an not replying for which I apologise.

So - the weather is OK here in the Midlands but hopefully not as blindingly hot as yesterday.

Dod
Thank you for all your comments. I have seen temporary declines in chat numbers several times over the past 9 years and it usually returns to normal after a short time but I think we should bear a few things in mind.
There are many reasons another member might not acknowledge you when you enter the room; they might be away from their computer, they could be shy or lacking in self confidence to communicate with chatters they have not chatted to before or they might think you do not like them after previous disagreements.
There have also been many occasions over the years where a small group of chatters share negative opinions of other member or members outside the chat. In the spirit of conciliation, I think it is fair to say that you don't really know other members until you have chatted to them individually and it should be borne in mind that people chat for various reasons; some like small talk to pass the time of day while others like a more intellectual discussion on various subjects. Also some look only for friends while others hope to find a relationship.
The vast majority of our members have never used the chat room and prefer to communicate 1 to 1 with those whose profiles seem to fit and communicate by messaging.
My philosophy is to chat to anyone, irrespective of what others might think about them, and I have often been surprised about how much more there is to a person than initial impressions might give.
I had a chat in the room last night with Mrsippi and Walker22 whom I think share this philosophy and are happy to help if they can.
I am away now until 8th July but if anyone can suggest convenient chat times to get members back in there, then that's a positive move!
i only charge 10 euros an hour gra what ye think :D
Graham

A reason to not respond in chat may be shy or lacking in self confidence. You could not be further away from the truth. It is ignorance !

Dodger
Hello
Dodger you have for sure lot of friends here, and they never ever ignored you in the chatroom and that’s a good news. Sadly our previous try to get chatters „alive” was unsuccessful too. Most of the members never chatted or they have bad experience or just simply they don't have time to pop up.

Trying to be there a bit frequently soon, because I remember how much help I got from chatters long-long time ago and how many friends I found during my membership on 50+.
MrsIppi