bobozg wrote: joceann
about  writing and talking live  ..
I see...... you meant on type of personality ? 
I made wrong answer because I thought you ask me about my  knowledge of English :-))

Mustangsally wrote: I "met" a man on another site. We emailed back and forth every day for a week. He lived 45 min away. When I suggested we go for coffee, he vanished and I never heard from again.  I think I saved myself  a lot of time there. Any thoughts?

His behavior suggest you were right  .:-)
but. 1 week is too soon I think.( for me at least)
We can meet a lot of people online  but  calling all of them out, after just a week ,would be too much to take....I would rather be sure  the person I talk with interesting me that much that I am eager to meet her . in person, eye to eye.

A week, a month, a year, he was still an ass and that wouldn't have changed. He drank that beer and he watched my reaction like he was just daring me to say something. Had I been able to, I would have gotten out of the car right then and there.
bobozg wrote: Jocean  yes.. you are right.. when I write .. I have enough time to think about  my next word.. :-) but in live speaking there is no  that "buffer"  time :-)
about writing and talking live ..
I see...... you meant on type of personality ?
I made wrong answer because I thought you ask me about my knowledge of English )

 of course.. logical and natural  sequence of two of you talking over the  net.. is to finally meet  each other and than all of connections you two made.. has to be tested in reality..
Than you both rise or fall... if there is no sparks ...but as  much you know about each other .. and love  their his  personality.... .physical attraction become less important  right?  

First, rest assured your English is fine. And I'll thank you for your willingness to learn English when very few of us English speaking people would take the time to learn a foreign language.

Second, does physical attraction become less important if you love someone's personality?
Certainly. Two people physically unattractive to each other can continue to love each other's personality. But I don't think the relationship would get past more than a platonic friendship.

If we're talking about being in love nature would want to take it's course. And that would require physical attraction. I'd think you might catch yourself saying, you have a beautiful personality that I love; but you're just not how I want my ideal woman to look to attract my attention.

You made me chuckle by telling on yourself with your description of the perfect women (in your head). Not that your slim, busty woman isn't out there, I'm sure she is. I'm sure the woman who could weigh 20 pounds more and have a small bust is out there too. But I'd venture to say that it's a small percentage of women, over 50, who would fit your ideal vision.

I think you could wind up with quite a few platonic friends and what an adventure wading through an entire cafe menu of women to find them. :D
hehe   .. I made just example about my ideal model  :-)

I meant to say..  each of us  have some border-levels and we would go bellow.
again just extreme example :
I cannot find physical attraction in someone  who is 30 years older than me.. or weight 200 pounds
But I meant to say.....even when we would not go below our personal limits.... in case of  high
emotional connection , we are ready to broaden up our range limits,  :-)

I remember....15 years ago I met one American woman 
we both start at ... around 20+ :-)  single
than  after a week ..we were  30+ married :-)
a month later , I admitted my full 35. and had no secrets to her .. but she continue to ....grow :-)
I was starting to worry... and broadening my limits in case of  new truth  comes out :-)
45  .... ( ok.... 10 years older but  i love her personality so much ..never mind
53 and  become a grandmother   ...( ok  uh just please  stop at this :-))
 when she went on 60 .... and send me a picture and her OVER 200 POUNDS

..well that was too much
to many lies.. and  way out of any  realistic limits :-)))  
I hope i was  clear :-)))

here  at 50+  since I am not looking for relationship ,  I feel quite comfortable even I just enter 50 :-)
but  i hope find a good friend...pen pall... and when I come to Ireland  would gladly have a coffee or beer time with her many occasions not just once  :-)
Well you're in luck, there seems to be a group of people in Dublin who get together. Bounce over to this forum thread: and make contact with anyone posting, sounds like Lucretia planned the get together.

She could help or find you someone to help you get acquainted once to get there. :)
I sow that post :-)
It's nice for chat room peoples to be able to come and talk in real life
I had a nice group of my Internet friends from Croatian chat rooms and 15 of us had regular coffee time at least once a week 10 years ago.. ......good old days :-)

since I am  2200 km away for now....  forums are OK :-))
practicing my writing ..correcting my misspells  :lol: ( your double letters inside words are killing me :lol:

can someone explain to me  why is kiLLing and not kiLing?
why miSSpeLLs  and not  miSpeLs ?
uhhhhh..i just cant find any logic in it . cant understand :-))    
Oh no, no. Don't try to figure out the why of English. It is the hardest language to learn. Any rules of spelling always have exceptions. But Kill and Spell have 2 Ls, do we know why? No, and we never will (just as Will does too). Misspell is just putting mis and spell together so both Ss have to be included. Now my head hurts. Really. just roll with the flow and maybe in about 20 years it will all be clear to you that there are no rules in English.

In your previous post you're speaking about a woman who lied to you, she wasn't honest about her age and appearance and thought all would be forgiven since you'd become so close online.

You're not alone. When I first started chatting back in 98, there were many people online who were not honest about who they were, where they lived, and who they lived with. It happened to me. Fortunately, I wasn't in very deep, not a huge emotional investment, so it was easy to move past it. It did serve as a great first lesson on how being online makes people feel they're allowed to deceive and lie. There just doesn't seem to be a real good reason for doing it. :)
bobozg, I have to wonder how much of the truth YOU are telling us. You want a lot from a woman but you already said you lied about your age on another site. You want a slim woman with big boobs, oops no, that was a joke No wonder it doesn't work out for you! How can a woman be truthful with you if she is not sure you are telling the truth yourself?
I have already said I am not looking for a relationship, but if I were, I would want to look into his eyes and see the truth there.
Your photo looks very youthful (and attractive) how old are you really and how do we know It is you?This sort of thing works both ways.
Your English is very good, but you hide behind it, saying you don't understand or we are twisting your words if you don't like what we say.
You seem to be an intelligent man with a sense of humour, I am sure you will be attractive to many but try listening to yourself.
I'm beginning to wonder if anybody can find a partner on any of these sites at any age.  In the short time I've been here all responses to my profile have been from out of province despite the fact that it clearly says within driving distance of Woodstock, ONTARIO, CANADA.   

Long way from Texas, Alberta, New Brunswick.  And if you're thinking yes, but there is a Woodstock in New Brunswick then maybe I should add literacy to my list of WANTS. Ignoring somebody's profile is just downright disrespectful IMO.
I am not hiding.. and not looking for relationship here at all...
but....even I do want to participate in conversation...sometimes I can't find  riight word so... Ii am explaining this word with whole sentence :-)

about your comment lied ... (this was 15 years ago as I said in this post..)
but also  this event thought me  how to defend my self from lie.. and also  lie doesn't pay of...
truth will always come out some how and I learned a way to find  a truth ( I also tried to explain in previous posts :-)
  so you say you never ever  lied about anything? :-) common ...
but if you did.. that means ..we can't trust you over here right?  :-)
(just  kidding..  I am not serious about that)
thank you for my English.. I am more concerned if  I can pass on some  interview for the job over there  when I came  ( it's easier to write even with misspells cause I have enough time to put  my words in some order and create sentence  but live talking is another world )
my ideal woman... don't we all have a right to  have a dream of our ideal partner?
but even we do... if you didn't notice... I made a rough physical picture ( not involved emotinal or personality side ) ... to make a point :-))
even i would not  have any objection  anyway on such a woman :-))
so what was there that offended you ?
you are the second person made replay on same  topic :-) 
about me .......possibly lie "again" with my picture? you see " certified" sign on my picture profile?
that means the owner of this site has  scanned  page of my passport picture and personal data..

finally What reason I would possibly have to lie to you or the rest of the people here?
Don't you think there is a 100 dating sites where i would have much more reason to pretend to be someone II am not?
I am here exactly cause  I don't want or have no need to pretend...... just to be simple me   .
It seems  like only Jocean   understand my little jokes and not taking me  so serious to have a need to jump on my words :-)
 .. al the rest  reacting   as  I wrote something terrible :-)
please.. give me a little credit..
if you don't agree with me.. ok... but please don't  cut a part of story and than use to construct something what's not there..
That is fine bobozg but I think you are missing my point. You seem to be suspicious of most people on these sites, yet we are not to be suspicious of you? Also if that is the case, why come here? It is good you are a certified member, so am I. (my photo is more recent than my driving license, so even these are not entirely accurate :) no offense) As I say you are a good looking man and should have no problems. I am not offended but you are questioning the motives of others but not allowing them to question yours. You say you have no reason to lie, so what reason would anyone else have to lie?You see, it goes both ways. It has been said before that there is good and bad wherever we go but ever since your first post you seem to be questioning everything. Just relax and enjoy what the site has to offer. If you are not looking for a relationship, why all the questions and suspicion?
You seem confident that you can spot fakes so why not just do that?
Joce is a wise and very clever woman, who has a way with words which few of us can equal. I always admire whatever she writes and am not surprised that you find her so understanding. I think she often puts things better than the rest of us.
I do understand your little jokes, it is the rest that is hard to take. Lighten up a little :)
Making people laugh is one of the most attractive attributes you can have.


PS. Not going to get into a big debate about this, so won't be posting here again. Good luck and hope to see you elsewhere on the site.
my photo is 3 month old and my passport is 1 years old :-))
for all the rest I agree with your stand.......
everything hard feeling at all  
Gwynnie, thank you, that's the nicest thing anyone has said about me in a long time (well, since I lost my biggest fan anyway). :)
when i was young my mother used to always tell me that life begins at 50. an i do be-leave that to this day.i must say that even though you may not be saying that this site is not a wast of dose sound like to me anyways ,that you may be saying that 95%  of the ladies on here is .i'm just saying how it sounds that's all.  even if you did not mean it that way.i don't know.but i remember my mother not just say life begins at 50 , but there's no hope like Bob Hope ,with out faith its hard to have that hope.god did not put us on this Earth  to be alone,it dose not matter if we have great friends or a partner.ether way you have to have something to believe in,in your life, an know one has that right to take that away from anyone..sometimes its all we have to hold on to in live.and i do think there are times when one should think be for they speak , because with out knowing it ,someone could get hurt.i truly don't believe that you can have true love with out a true friendship. because with true friendship you can move mountains and when true love grows from that then it could really last a life time.please remember when one door closes ,another door will always open,know matter where you are in life
and please know if you don't want anyone to judge you then you should not judge them.know one has that right
redman86 wrote: Well the one thing that people can't say is that sites like this prevent you from meeting a partner. So what is there to lose?

There will always be a mismatch in expectation / result because it is not exclusively a dating site - some people merely want to make friends; some want to make friends and find that special someone; some only want to find Mr or Ms Right.

One's view of the success of the site will be driven by which of those categories you fall into.

If you ARE looking for the perfect partner you have to accept that you might not meet them here  - AND your chances of success will not be enhanced simply by sending smiles to every woman / man who logs on regardless of whether your profiles seem compatible, and wondering why you are not getting replies!

Hope this helps! :)   

Well, be it that this is the first post I have read as I just joined I can say that I joined out of "hope" to meet new people as where I live is isolated and I don't have a chance to meet many people. I hope to laugh and enjoy the best of what people offer in conversation and I will leave the rest. If it isn't fun anymore I will move along. With that said, I like a little tension in conversation and differences of opinions, too.