Do women ever feel they could be in a relationship/ friendship where the guy is naturally effiminate?
I see no reason why not. Don't know if you'll agree but, there are men out there who are effeminate yet, they are more reliable, and consistent as compared to those who are manly or masculine. Just my personal opinion though.
Thanks,
It has been an issue all my life, it really winds me up when people assume I'm gay. I adore women, sex hasn't been that important to me for a long time, so much so that it didn't really bother me when my ex had affairs well not sexually at least more the mis trust more than anything else. Had she had been honest with me I probably wouldn't have minded. Think she liked the secrecy lol. Love shopping housework a lot of conventionally girlie things.

Kind of accepted I'll be alone in this now though 
Hey! Having unmanly characteristics does not mean you are already less of a man. So long as you are happy with yourself and you don't step on other people's toes, then why care what other's would think?
Good lord! If friendship is what you seek...and you love shopping & housework too...with a face like yours...I'd expect the women to be trampling each other for a chance to be your "BFF"!  :shock:

Seriously, I don't think you'll have much trouble findin' all the gal pals you can handle...but of course, as far as an enduring "romantic relationship" is concerned...that could be a bit more "tricky". I think most women need the physical intimacy part in order to feel that a man's love for them is genuine & "complete". However, that's just speculation on my part...and I truly wish you the best in finding whatever/whomever will help you to feel really great about yourself...no matter what your interests are...someone to share them with you, without judgement. I think that's pretty much what ALL of us want/need anyway, isn't it...ACCEPTANCE of who we really are? 

I can only tell you this...one of my best friends in the world actually IS gay...and the irony of my ridiculous life is that he's the only man on this planet who I'm sure will truly love me "til death do us part". We've been friends for more than 40 years & I'm sure I'll go to my grave still loving him...because he's just a WONDERFUL human being! Apart from that, I THINK most women adore men with a "feminine side"...cuz let's face it...they think more like we do...and we can actually understand them better than the guys with what I "affectionately" refer to as "testosterone poisoning"!  :wink:

In any case, best wishes to you & if you're new, WELCOME to 50plus! :)  
glad to have you here on the site...you will make many new friends....men and women....accept yourself and enjoy your life...everyone has traits that set us apart....I always heard there is someone out there that is a perfect match for you....soooo live, enjoy, share and experience life where you are planted....and others will be drawn to you
Hi Peter, sorry but am not good with big words,so I google it  :lol:. but the reply from the ladies on here are spot on. I myself have always been a Tomboy. don't think it is the same is it?. anyway you seem a great guy why would anyone have a problem with the way you are. what matters the most is that if your happy being you, what does it matter how other people think. you will meet great people on this site, and with a bit of hope your ideal partner who knows. so relax and enjoy the people you call friends. ps WELCOME  X
Hi, Peter!
You are gorgeous and I'm sure most women like you immediately. I certainly do, right away. I think your main problem is that effeminate men are perceived as being gay, so hetero women are unlikely to see you as being available for a hetero relationship. Also, you need a masculine woman to balance your feminine energy, and most women aren't that masculine. Ironically, I think what you may have to do to get the sort of woman you want is to make the first move when you come across one who attracts you with her masculine edge. Approach her, introduce yourself: 'Hi, I'm Peter', and tell her specifically why are drawn to her, as in: ' I just want you to know that I find you very attractive because of...' whatever...the way she just handled a tough customer, or because of the way she took charge of some situation or whatever.

Worth a try. If she isn't interested...even if her reaction is rude...take it on the chin and say in a cheerful voice, something like: ' Ok. That's how you feel, but this is how I feel and I just wanted to tell you. Have a nice day!' Smile, walk away with confidence (no matter how rotten you feel inside. Save it for later, when you talk to platonic women friends, who will be very sympathetic, I promise. We're good at that), and think to yourself: NEXT!

Most women, however, will be gracious, flattered and impressed.

Best of luck, hon. And let me know how you get on, though please do so within a month, as I've only signed onto this site for 30 days, beginning a few days ago.

Ps - did I mention that you are gorgeous? This will be the common impression, I promise!
I have never heard of " Effiminate" men, so I don't know what to say, except you are good looking Peter and I don't see why woman won't take you on as a friend or what ever relationship you are seeking.

Anyways Welcome to this site and hope you find what you are looking for and be a success at it.
Many thanks to all of you for your kind words it really does help to know there are good people out there, and usually there women lol xx
As chuckle monkey eloquently says women sometimes need the physical aspect for their relationship to feel connected but we don't always need the alpha male type and can feel connected with girl friends where there is no physical connection.

Your situation rings a few bells with me with regard to a friend of mine where her husband is quiet effiminate and like you seems to relish un gender type pursuits, he does all the domestic stuff, washing ironing the lot and they seem very happy but I know she has "strayed" a couple of times in their time together. I just wonder if his companionship is enough and she has needed that "alpha" type on occasion, is that something your ex mentioned at all?
PeteHargreaves wrote: housework...conventionally girlie things.


Since when is doing housework a girlie thing?????? My mother returned to school when I was just starting my teen years. What major luck that was for me. First she finished her grade 12 - I guess when she was young, making babies was more important to her than school - then she attended university and got a degree. So she had no time to do housework. That was her story, at least. Busy busy student! Hit the books and study hard equals degree. So guess who got stuck with doing all the housework? Me, that's who.

Vacuum floors, dust...ehhh, was there ever more useless housework invented than dusting? I rated that tops for useless. But it needs done, the student said. Dust is evil. And oil any wood surfaces too, why not. Dusting isn't just 'knock it about', hey. Dusting is more than just redistributing the dust, she said. You gotta make it disappear. Laundry, scrub toilet, shop for groceries...the whole nine yards. I did it all.

My mother's idea of doing housework was: make some coffee, please. And I'd be like...sure, mom, some Maxwell House will be percolating before you know it. You just put your feet up and take it easy. I know attending university is really draining.

I grew up thinking of housework as a very masculine activity. I knew I was male...and I was doing it...so hey...it's a male thing. In fact, I got the idea - kind of drilled into me - that there is nothing more manly than housework.

So the women who naively assume that we men are not house-broken...ha ha ha, make me laugh, why not. I probably do all those things better than most women! Anyway. Real men do housework. There is nothing effeminate about it. Whatever needs done needs done. When you're a bachelor, you just do it. Or...you live in a pig sty. No good.
Most women would love to have a man who doesn't mind doing some housework or cook.  
We do need a break sometimes. :wink: 
I agree no harm in men doing housework, some men do it better than some women.   I mean the housework   :lol:
maryleek wrote: We do need a break sometimes.


May I come over and do your housework? LOL
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