Growth can begin with forgiveness. Forgiving one's self and others. Even though you forgive someone the pain and hurt does not always go away. But it is a start, and when you for give yourself. A joy and release can spread though you. Bringing happiness beyond belief.
this may sound silly,, but in my opinion,, a person who can forgive themselves and not forgive others is an egotistical person who will cease to live sans friends. But, on the other hand, a person who forgives others AND themselves has a true and loving heart. The heart is the brain of societal, judgemental and rational (sometimes) decisions.It never lies, tho some people tend to not heed it's opinions. Good luck to you on here,, there are alot of wonderful folks here,, and a few crazies,, but hey,,it takes all kinds?
Please strive to hear your Heart,
remember it whispers, so listen carefully.
blackwidow wrote: The heart is the brain of societal, judgemental and rational (sometimes) decisions.It never lies, tho some people tend to not heed it's opinions.

Very well said, BW.

I believe at some point we have to forgive ourselves before we are even capable of forgiving anyone else. As we move through life and grow older, I'm sure we've all done things at one point or another that we wind up regretting. It would be impossible to live your life this long without making mistakes. I've certainly made mine, have done my best to own up to them, and have had to make peace with myself in order to move on. How in the world could I be good for anyone else if I can't be good to myself? It just makes sense to me. I've not met anyone in my lifetime yet that is perfect, although some claim to be, lol.

I've come to realize (in my old age), that guilt, worry, envy, and regret are useless emotions. They keep us immobile -- unable to grow -- unable to be what we need to be for the ones we truly love.

But all that being said, I wholeheartedly agree with what BW has posted. It reminds me of that old adage - The heart needs what the heart wants - and if your heart is telling you to forgive, either it be yourself or someone else, then it may be wise to do so.

We are only here but for a very short time, and I just can't imagine wasting another second harboring bad feelings, whether it be my own or someone elses.
Forgiveness can have different definitions, can it not? Does one think, "I forgive you. What you did was wrong, and I feel I'm better than you for forgiving you, but I forgive you."
Or, "I believe we all do the best we can in every situation, and if we really understood who we are, there would be no jealousy, fear, judgment, etc, so there is nothing to forgive." ?
I believe that holding on to a grudge corrodes you from the inside out.
It is similar to substance abuse because it becomes addictive/ stunts your emotional growth and leaves less and less room for the capacity to love and accept love. It is toxic,
Forgiveness its the freedom. First forgive myself, then the people which hurt me.
I forgive, but I do not forget. Forgiveness its definitely the path to growth. Movie "The Shack" is about forgiveness.
I agree with you Sosa, forgive yourself, you need to go through a healing process, but it not easy to forget, it like a stamp on your mind.