Is it because most people already have strong established networks of friends that they've had all their lives and they don't need more friends? Or is it that people just don't place value on friendship anymore? Or is it that people are just too busy to dedicate the time and effort to building friendships?
The reason I'm inquisitive about this is because I'm alone in life, in my late 40's , and I don't have a husband, don't have kids, don't have family, and I have tried building close friendships to fill the gap in my life but I find it very very difficult. I'm very outgoing and very social, and I have lots of acquaintances and people that I see from time to time in social environments, BUT, what's lacking is that I don't have close friend in my life, all the people in my life are just acquanitances. I don't have that one person that I can talk to about things, someone to just hang out with, someone to cry with, laugh with, do things with, etc. And I miss that. I'm a person who makes friends easily and I'm not shy at all, and I organize a lot of social events, etc. But I either don't find the right kind of people to truly connect with, or if I do they're not interested in connecting because they don't need/want friends, etc.
When I say I feel alone in life, I'm not talking about lonliness. I'm not really lonely. I live a very full and active social life, and am surrounded by people. What I'm talking about is a deep inner sense of aloneness in life, like I'm all alone in the world, the people in my life are not people that I have the closeness with that I could pick up the phone and call them if I was in a car accident and needed someone to be there for me. I don't have an inner, close connection with anyone as a friend. If I dropped dead today, I don't know of anyone in my life that I could depend on to even plan a funeral for me. It's a horrible feeling.
I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person in this boat. I'd really like to be able to hear from others who may have experienced this same thing or may have some advice on how to deal with this. This is not just a matter of getting out there and meeting people, I meet people all the time and am very socially active, but I don't seem to be able to build the deep closeness with women that I'm talking about in friendship. What I do find most times is that the closeness is much easier to build and find with male friends, but then it always leads to the problems with him wanting more (dating, relationship, etc). I find I connect better with me, maybe because I find men less judgemental and less competitive and less catty than women.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.