A Harley biker is visiting the Zoo in Calgary , Alberta when he sees a
little girl leaning into the bars of the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion
grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to
slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker without hesitation runs to the cage and hits the lion square
on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and
the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A CBC reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the
biker says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a
man do in my whole life.'

The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was
behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm
a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on
the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political
affiliation do you have?'

The biker replies, 'I'm a soldier in the Canadian military and a
Conservative.' The journalist leaves.

The following morning the soldier buys the paper to see if it indeed
brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:

CANADIAN SOLDIER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"

Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."

The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
THANKS FOR SHARING !!

:lol: :lol: