Service and Support

Postby Countrybird » 03.12.2017, 22:27

I have been in relationship for 12 years now and we have been living together for 11 years. We have not had intimate for 10 years.

I have been faithful for all this time but my patients are wearing thin now and i find myself think about it all the time. He has Ed but has done nothing to fix it or deal with it. he has been telling me he needs time for 8 years.He says he decided he did not want to used the medical products because he doesn't trust them. He wont even go to a doctor at a clinic to get tested to see if it is an option. i just see the lack of interest in me in general. I have talked to hi abut it so many times and said i needed him to show me through some kind of actions that he cares and that words mean nothing anymore to me. He shows very little and for a few days and then goes back to nothing.

I am now starting to feel ridicules and foolish now because i have been taken advantage of before. I am seeing a pattern now but this one really hurts because my grand kids really like him. I feel so damaged now but also feel like i still have room in my heart to move on now. I didn't feel this before this is new in the last year that feel that this needs to end. My problem is he has a broken credit score now so he is not able to rent a place. I fell so trapped in this relationship now. I have so much passion to offer but no one to be with that wants it from me. The only person that wanted it was my ex abusive husband and i didn't want to give anything to him.

How do i ask someone to move out when i know he cant even get anyone to rent to him.
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Postby Freken » 03.12.2017, 23:34

He will be the same as he was all these years.

If you do not want to live together and can't tell him to go away, may be you could find a new place where you could move away form him? And start a new page in your life story at a new place?

PS not sure what is Ed
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Postby Countrybird » 04.12.2017, 0:13

Ed is Erectile Dis function.

I cant move out because i am paying the mortgage.
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Postby Freken » 04.12.2017, 22:22

I see now... (( A real problem.

And when you say that "i just see the lack of interest in me in general", do mean absence of sex only or... in general?

The reason I'm asking is, that he seems to be not a bad man as your grand kids like him. (by the way, how old are they?)

So, if it's only lack of sex, are you sure, that if he could move out of you place, you would get what you need and want?

You also write that you "have so much passion to offer but no one to be with that wants it from me". YOU are that very person, give you passion to yourself first. Take care about yourself and pump ypurself. They say "love thy neighbour as thyself" As thyself... not less. But not more as well.

And if you want to change the situation, try to begin with changing yourself. Just pay more attention to yourself and imagine that you have already got what you are looking for. What would you do then? How would you behave?
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Freken
 
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Postby scrummy » 04.12.2017, 23:31

Countrygirl, Can U get some legal advice on this,
There are PPL here who try to play God, Consellor, watever,
and just maybe they have not walked in your shoes,
My Best Wishes to you,
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Postby Polarqueen » 05.12.2017, 0:07

Rent a small apartment for him, pay a couple,onths and boot him out. Get your freedom first the rest will follow 
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Postby blackwidow » 05.12.2017, 2:23

You are number one,, if you are not happy,, you CANNOT make anyone else happy. One always has options, the easy way, or the hard way. Learning the hard way awakens us to appreciate life more in my opinion, i speak from experience and have gained alot of respect for life because it can make you or break you,, all your choice basically, What goes around,, comes around........
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Postby Freken » 05.12.2017, 8:49

scrummy wrote:Countrygirl, Can U get some legal advice on this,
There are PPL here who try to play God, Consellor, watever,
and just maybe they have not walked in your shoes,
My Best Wishes to you,


I understand that it's not a legal issue, but rather a moral, ethical one. Countrybird is not sure what is the right decision.
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Postby Freken » 05.12.2017, 8:50

blackwidow wrote:You are number one,, if you are not happy,, you CANNOT make anyone else happy.

I like this position very much. Its true.
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Postby Freken » 05.12.2017, 9:27

Polarqueen wrote:Rent a small apartment for him, pay a couple,onths and boot him out. Get your freedom first the rest will follow 

Not sure that this will help Countrybird at this stage - still she has to find courage to tell the guy that he has to move out. And take additional burden and responsibility for one more apartment.

First she has to decide if she really wants him to move out after 12 years, if this move will resolve her problem.
What is clear for sure, is that she should not wait any sex from him any more. ever. And start looking for another person. Who knows, if she find another man, she could move to him and suggest her apartment for rent to the guy with ED. Or there may come another solution when time comes.

I think the above is reasonable if ED-man is a good person and in general cares about Countrybird, helps her, bears his portion of expenses in their household. Sex is extremely important but not everything.
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Postby Countrybird » 11.12.2017, 4:43

I definetly could not aford to rent him an apartment for and pay my mortgage as well.

As far as intimecay goes i get little kisses thats it . For a man that says he loves me deeply he cant shoe it well any more. It leaves me very immeshionly starving.thats the only way i can describe it.

I have not ever known anyone with thhe same problem as me . I really know how men feel that go through this feel and it really hurts. Women do this to men all the time use
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