My beloved Momma is dying it is the hardest time of my life She has Vascular Dementia and Alzhemier's. She is leaving in pieces and and I am helpless !
Anume57
I too lost my mother two years ago and it is a very hard thing to watch and go through. You wish you could do more for her, sitting and keeping her company seems to be all you can do. My only comfort when she was gone was to know now her suffering was over and she had a good life and was a truly good person.
My thoughts and good wishes are with you on your difficult journey.
Beaches ca
First, I am sorry for your troubles. Your pain comes thru loud and clear.I can empathize. My Mom is 88. My Dad died 25 yrs ago. She was always so very active: daily trips to the seniors club in the a.m. to her local legion branch in the afternoons, swimming 3x week and at least one cruise a year (yes she went solo, and never minded!) I always told her, when the topic came up, that my wish for her was that she die on the dance floor of a cruise ship on the way home. Alas, she returned from a cruise in June and a large, rapid growing mass took over her stomach region. By July it was confirmed it was cancer. By this time her petite frame was so distended she could not walk or put her shoes on. Finally it was decided to operate just to get rid of some of the bulk. prognosis not good. It is growing still and spreading rapidly. She is in an Assisted Living/Nursing Home. Something she always dreaded. She was told after surgery she had approx 2 months. That is a heavy blow. For the first month she just kept hoping it would be over soon. Now in month 2, she is weaker and so many other things to get one down, but the meds keep her pain free and she is finding joy, again, in every day. She is blessed to be in a wonderful facility with exceptional staff. I live in a different province but my sis and her kids are very present to her and she has tons of friends visiting. Until today, I always thought "if only I was there, I could make things better for her" but today we had such a great conversation, her telling me all the wonderful things that have happened lately, I finally believe what she has always said to me "even if you were here there is nothing you could do to make it better" . It can be devastating losing a parent. I cling to memories we made together.
I lost both my parents within 8 months of each other (13 years ago). And the one thing I remember feeling, amidst the shock, and grief, was the sense of aloneness, I felt like an orphan....weird, I'm a grown woman and felt like a kid all alone in this world. Still do actually. I guess because I'm single and don't have kids, my parents were the two people in this world that I felt, if anything happened to me, I could always go to them, they'd be the ones who'd remember me, who'd notice if I wasn't here, etc. When they passed away, I felt completely alone in the world. I felt a deep sense of fear inside that no matter what happesn in my life, I'm all alone now, no one to share my milestones with, no one to go to for advice when i need it, etc. Neither of my parents suffered a long illness, both their deaths were fairly sudden....so I didn't really have the time to prepare myself mentally for the end or for the loss. I thought in time things would get better and I'd miss them less and less but the reality is, now 13 years later I still feel completely alone in this world and still feel the emptiness inside. people told me time would heal, I thought it would also, but in all honesty, for me it hasn't. I wake up everyday wishing I won't feel alone and empty in my life today, but it hasn't happened yet.
My Momma is dying of Alzheimer's and Vascular Dementia, I saw her today and her scalp is dying and she having absence seizures and as I see her sitting in the wheel chair and asking who I am. I ask myself what will I do when she is gone when I don't have too come here every Sunday. I ask God everyday to take her home I have been crying all day today and I don't know why. Her death is coming soon and I want to prepare. Any thoughts
hi Jewels

My heart goes out to you, it never is an easy thing to go through. I lost my dad 6 years ago this July. I wish I could say it gets easier, but what I try and do is remember the good memories we shared. As this Ottawa group starts up, it will be good for you to keep busy. Crying is not a bad thing at all, that is how we heal. Take it one day at a time. For today you can get through...  
Jewel... not an easy time for you ... I think we can all feel your pain.....I went through what your going through in 2007.... sitting with ones mother on your birthday .. and she doesn't know who you are ...is without a doubt the most difficult day I had ... I was with her in her final moments and I wouldn't change that..... just remember the times you laughed.... and celebrate her life..... you will be fine.... truly.
Thanks every one for all your kindness!
Jewels4u, as you can see from the above, you have struck a chord in some of us because we have been through this sad, sad situation ourselves.

My mum had Alzheimer's, and within 6 months of her going into residential care, my Dad was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, and because his hallucinations were so horrific he had to go into a lock up facility.

Myself, and my four sisters and one brother took turns to visit them both to ensure they had company each day. To go see my mum was always a pleasure, she had regressed to a 2 year old very quickly. It was easy to make fond last memories with her – we had divided all the family photo’s between us all, and brought them up to her, and talked to her about each one. She was only cognisant with pictures of her Mom and Pa, and would get so excited to see them. And when her death came, she was so peaceful and looked very restful.

My day for visiting them both was a Tuesday, and I’d like to say that I visit their grave on Tuesdays, but I don’t anymore. I do what mum liked to do - I bake.

We are all different, and you will find a way to get through this – be easy on yourself, allow the tears and let the memories flood in.
Hi I still have my mom she just turn 80 in august. i am in Ontario and she is in New Brunswick i don;t see her as much as i would like bu t we talk on the phone. On Christmas eve off last year we had a phone call that change our life forever. we find out that my dad had a brain tumor it was stage 4 cancer and my dad decide to not take treatment that would make him so sick that he would off been so sick also. he wanted to be able to enjoy his precious moments with my mom. they were married for 62 years. On jan 30 of this year i went home to be with my mom and dad by the time that i got there he was already in the hospital and never came back out. He died on Feb 17 of this year. Being there for him and my mom was what i wanted but my god it was so hard to watch your dad died. But i will remember for the rest of my life that i did what i did because i love him and my mom with all my heart. i will treasure the moment with him just me and him talking about different thi ngs that happen in life. He was even worry about me not having enough money while i was there with them as i am only on disability and had to stop working for two months while i went and help i told him i was find not to worry but that what parents do worry. the last day he was in a semi coma they said but i was told to keep talking to him so i did and i even sang to him good thing i was alone with him. i said to him dad it time for you to go go and enjoy our little sister that i never got a chance to meet and also one of my brother that was already in heaven. and i pray God come and get him he is ready to go. He was love we were almost all there around him in the room when he left us. We were sad and cry but i will always remember the good time the love and the look on his face when he would see us and the grandkids. we are big family so lots of those memories. i also have a book maker from the funeral home with his pic on it and i love to read so i see my dad everyday. i said goodnight to him every night. Hope it was ok for me to share my story.
I like to said also i am in the chat room on here and the peoples in there are wonderful as a support group and they all turn out to be really good friends and i take them as my family. Take care everyone and God bless you all
Thank you Frenchy for sharing a very personal memory with us. I was not able to be with either one of my parents when they passed away. Having read your story does help me a little. While it is so sad to have your parents cross to the other side, you do have the wonderful memories of them. I think that is something your parents would want for you. To not be sad when they go but to remember all the great things you got to do with them when they were here. Again, Thank you for sharing.
Warmest regards,
Wizard.. :D
Thank Wizard for being there when i needed someone so much that night i did hear the bad news. you playing music for me help me a lots that night it calm my mind enough that i was able to fall asleep. i love all of you so much in the chat room. i think of you guys like a big family. Take care and again thank you with all my heart for helping me and always playing my favorite song.

Fern