i open my eyes every morning
and ponder my day for awhile  
the miracle of choosing how i want to feel
brings a  messy haired, half asleep smile

but my days stayed dark
not so long ago  
pretending to function
so nobody would know

what would they think?
if they could see inside
to see me running
with nowhere to hide

so i began a journey
to reclaim my soul
to live once and forever
outside of this hole  

a journey of not knowing
where to go next
but i knew for certain
to just take the next step   

i searched with vigor
it had to be there
happiness and peace
were out there somewhere  

but after a time
i began to see
there was no 'out there' 
it was all about me 

the thought of changing
was a scary task
"what will i do,
without the old mask?" 

but as my journey moved forward
and the mask fell away
i started to see clearly
that i could choose my day 
Jay very beautifully written and honestly you could be describing some of my moments.  A totally heart felt poem...keep posting them as they are great. ...Fern
awesome poem !!!!!!
Great! Sounds so heartfelt...so real to yourself and to the reader. Your words got cozy with my neurons.
Thank you, ladies!
Keeping it simple seems to work best for me, in really just about everything I do. But this is something I'm sure we've all been through at some point in our lives, and once we realize we have the power to react in a positive manner no matter the situation - that power of choice - the light will seep through and warm your soul on a daily basis. 

And great to see you here, rainy!  
Can identify with that, jay....good work
Thanks for the transparency jaz a window to your soul , beautifully written