[b]"I do believe however that the "been there...done that"mind set sends out all the wrong signals. It seems to imply that no matter how great a new relationship is, that it is destined to play itself out as unsatisfactorily as the previous one. It tends to signal pessimism not optimism. As Seashells statepeople pick up on the smallest things even if only for a moment. I'm not saying that there isn't a time and a place for the cold hard truth but it still should ( if possible ) couched with optimism." (by LifesaDance)[/b][i]


I realize LifesaDance that it wasn't meant to be taken out of context that I would not try with relationships, I was merely saying that I know what marriage is about and I am not suggesting negativity in that quote. I have my eyes opened and like to take my time. I certainly do not want to build up something that is not there and have it come tumbling down. I want to go with the flow is all. I am neither overly optimistic or overly pessimistic. I think its safe to say that I am trying to balance the scale. We are all here to give our opinions whether you like it or not. We should agree to disagree. You have your ideas and I have mine. This is what makes this site more interesting than others because you have a place the Forums to voice your opinion as long as we don't hurt anyone in the process. I do not want to be sending out the wrong signals at all! But I also can't worry about how someone interprets my words either!
Sweetiepie22.  My comments were only posted as food for thought, a cause for reflection.   If you believe, as I do that  "in any failure to communicate the fault ( if any ) lies with the sender". It is important that we do not unitentionally send out messages ( verbal or otherwise) that sabotage our purpose.  It is,as you stated also important that we remain true to ourselves.
As I look back on my comment and your response (LivesaDance).....it was indicating that I know the experiences of being married and having its ups and downs...not really aware that my tone was projecting an attitude of don't care to try on future relationships....quite the contrary.....communication is so very important so we may give the wrong impression.  Meeting in person really sets the first impression, you see their overall look, how they react, their eyes that are the windows of any soul, you get some clue how they are. Posting here you only get a glimpse of their makeup but not a true makeup. We hide ourselves, we don't want others to see our vulnerabilities.....all I was commenting about that when you are so long in a marriage either it grows or stays the same, links on the chain weaken over time, we either need it to be replaced or find a new chain (new friendship) as in the case of how I feel. A friendship is good....companionship even better but to me its not a shock to split up, it just doesn't work. Sometimes we marry for the wrong reasons then by the time we reach 60 we panic, we are alone, we are aging faster than we want to, our insecurities surface, would they like our body, our own ideas....everyone is thinking of these issues....but yet we are saying we want to be happy and how do we get there.
LifesaDance wrote: Sweetiepie22.  My comments were only posted as food for thought, a cause for reflection.   If you believe, as I do that  "in any failure to communicate the fault ( if any ) lies with the sender". It is important that we do not unitentionally send out messages ( verbal or otherwise) that sabotage our purpose.  It is,as you stated also important that we remain true to ourselves.


Thank you yes posting is risky business coming from any sender/ or moi and certainly wouldn't want to sabotage any chances of finding future friends that is why it is important for me to carefully put down information that I will have no regrets later. :(