I read in a recent edition of Mature Times that

"The proportion of couples splitting up in their 60s is up by 58 per cent in recent years, and is predicted to keep rising."

Does any member have a clue as to why that might be? Is it because one partner is now more financially independent than in previous generations so can afford to go it alone? Perhaps people no longer accept the principle of a life-long partner any more? I assume the article was referring to the UK population so is not necessarily representative of other region
s.
  
Yes, I think both those reasons are part of it. I think too the religious beliefs/rules are relaxing. I know it would have been unthinkable for someone of my religion to divorce. Once you married, you stayed together no matter what, did your duty, even in cases of abuse, mental or physical. Thank goodness that has changed. We now recognize that no one should have to suffer those kinds of marriages, man or woman.

Women have become more independent last couple of generations. Remember WWII? Women had to take over jobs when the men when to war which men normally performed. This gave women a taste of earning their own income. Some did not want to quit when the men came home again but many had to as the work went to men first. It was still frowned upon for women to work outside the home if they were married. But those who were widowed or single could continue to work, though usually for less pay than men.

Women's Lib Movement was an eye opener for all, men and women. With every new movement/changes, sometimes the pendulum will swing too far either way. Those are the growing pains of change. Equality was the quest, the answer, not only in the work force, but also in decision making. It changed from a patriarchal society to a more even partnership. It was good for the men too, they could stay home and be the caregivers if that's what they wanted to do and the work force opened up previous all-male jobs for women.

So, to sum up, I guess I'm not surprised. It's a bit sad maybe, family splitting up, that sort of thing. Luckily the children are all grown up by then. Let's hope it can be done amicably and as adults.

Just some thoughts.....
At 60  both women and men (generally speaking )are only 2/3 through their expected  life time.Lots of room for a rethink of relationships with either new appreciation for what there is,or a change in direction..I so remember in 1955 Toronto  the mothers still whispering over who was a DIVORCEE in the neighbourhood....times have sure changed  to the point where "self actualization "is the goal .Its an attitude that says its my life,im not putting up with this (_fill in the blank _)crap any more, this is what i want to do and by golly im going to do it.....and of course  with the church having so much less say over peoples lives,and  financial independence helped by C.P.P and Old age pensions and pension supplements,and lines of credit ...its a different world out there...
The other two replies are very good possibilities another possible reason is that as a couple , I think , they have less guaranteed income referring to pensions. I am talking about cpp and old age security and the supplements. the gov't tends to cap our pensions. This I know about personally , I occasionally receive a gov't letter explaining exactly how much I will be penalized / clawed back which approximately $300 for receiving a $900 to be effective when I turn 65. I have been aware of this for 20 years. So while they ( gov't ) encourage people to build rrsp's , pensions and such , they will claw it back some where and some how. A couple may be forced financially to legally separate , have separate mailing addresses but live in the same house . I am not sure what it is like in England but that is how things are here in Canada . My pension is from the canadian forces. 
 
Happy New Year.......I had heard in not so many years from now, there will be so many singles whether by divorce, never married or death of a spouse. I guess the world is changing and there hopefully is less stigma attached to this way of life. I think the bottom line, is have to find your balance and happiness.
I have read the input here and would like to give you my perspective of why some men and women are getting restless after 60. I can only speak for myself but when one is in a marriage over 20 years one tends to get restless as in my case. We take each other for granted or we are even controlled and we just want to be free and do our own thing. We have nothing to offer each other physically or mentally and feel that life is passing us by. We want to recapture some of our youth and if you can find a person who wants to do that then you are fortunate indeed. 

I believe in honesty and integrity and when you split let the person be aware that you call it quits and not sneak around as though you feel you won't get caught because one always does sooner or later. 

I believe that its not written in stone that you must stay with the same person forever. If your children are gone from the home then both of you should make a decision to do your own thing. If both have nothing in common spread your wings and go do it before its too late.

I am here trying to do that very thing find friends/relationships because believe me its a lonely world without friends. We can never have enough of them.

So here I stand before you and say if your honest with yourself go take the bull by the horns and do something! 
I find that 95% of people over 60 who split up, never find another partner, but may have a good time trying.  Reasons been, too set in their ways, too many expectations, nobody wants to be in fear or controlled again. But one or the other will always want to control .PROBLEM, so, the 5% are Best Friends,giving of each , and do not have any expectations, they just allow things to happen and are comfortable to this.I am one of the 5%, who learned that the 95% way, just does not work.  :D
Presidenttony wrote: I find that 95% of people over 60 who split up, never find another partner, but may have a good time trying.  Reasons been, too set in their ways, too many expectations, nobody wants to be in fear or controlled again. But one or the other will always want to control .PROBLEM, so, the 5% are Best Friends,giving of each , and do not have any expectations, they just allow things to happen and are comfortable to this.I am one of the 5%, who learned that the 95% way, just does not work.  :D


Hi
Initially I thought the comment from PresidentTony  "may have a good time trying" funny, but then it occurred to me (and I'm no statistician) that a person would need to be rejected up to 19 out of 20 times before they found their Best Friend.  The search might not be fun after all and the person searching might need a pretty thick skin & a lot of perseverance.
95 % seems high to me, but nor am I a statistician. What I have seen (so far) is that outgoing (even semi-outgoing) people are more apt to find someone than those who are grumpy and whiny and very set in their ways. Not saying that outgoing people are always happy or always have the answer to happiness but they seem to be able to open up to new experiences. They seem to be more laid back not expecting anything in particular, just having a nice time with others, outings, dinners, get togethers, whatever. There's that approachability factor too. How approachable are you? Do you smile often, do you stand relaxed or arms folded. What does your body language say about you? Are you always in a hurry? All those things are noticed even for a split second. I have a friend who would love to be in a relationship but won't go out, won't change their ways at all. This person has a negative outlook. How the heck is this person going to meet anyone?
Hi

I think seashells is right to highlight that one's attitude determines how attractive they appear, but if that attitude is contrived and not what the person really wants to be, in the long-run, are they being fair to themselves and to the person they attract?  On the other hand, I've heard that humans are creatures of habit so if the person persists with their new attitude then perhaps they will become a new person and they won't slip back to their old-self.  Yet another twist: perhaps there is a person (or several), who are more attracted by the person's original attitude and so by changing attitude, the person has lost an admirer. 

Perhaps attraction is a probability-game, the more closely one matches the most admired features and behaviours, the more one is likely to attract.

Attraction is also likely to be a numbers game: the more one is seeing and being seen, then the more one is likely to meet their 'mate'.

Though there is a lot of sense in being yourself, that does not seem sensible if it means the person is unhappy.  Perhaps they need to work on their self-esteem?
  
Perhaps people just forget that a loving relationship is a lot of hard work. Relationships need to be nourished. One dose not expect a bumper crop from an unattended garden. . Love maybe the hardest work of all.
LifesaDance wrote: Perhaps people just forget that a loving relationship is a lot of hard work. Relationships need to be nourished. One dose not expect a bumper crop from an unattended garden. . Love maybe the hardest work of all.


I agree that love is hard work but if you want a relationship then one must work for it. How many want to be married again.....been there, done that. Some people may just want a special friend, their best friend that will want to do things that their ex never wanted to do. Filling a void can be obtained with the right attitude and the right person. We just have to hope for the best. :)
" I agree that love is hard work but if you want a relationship then one must work for it.  How many want to be married again.....been there, done that. Some people may just want a special friend, their best friend that will want to do things that their ex never wanted to do. Filling a void can be obtained with the right attitude and the right person. We just have to hope for the best. :)[/quote]

 I don't know how many people want to be married again. However, judging from the proliferation of sites like this, I think quite a few, or at least be  coupled in some way. According to Kevin O'Leary ( of CBC's Dragon's Den fame) in his new book The Cold Hard Truth, the only people that should marry are those that intend to procreate. all others should steer clear. I don't know if I agree or disagree.  It has been my experience that marriage isn't perfect, neither is cohabitation or singledom.  They all have their ups and downs, pros and cons.
I do believe however that the "been there...done that"mind set sends out all the wrong signals. It seems to imply that no matter how great a new relationship is, that it is destined to play itself out as unsatisfactorily as the previous one. It tends to signal pessimism not optimism.  As Seashells statepeople pick up on the smallest things even if only for a moment. I'm not saying that there isn't a time and a place for the cold hard truth but it still should ( if possible ) couched with optimism. 

 
Well, I believe one should be oneself - of course, there may be areas where you may want to experiment. Reading on different subjects, joining a new class, yoga, whatever interests you at the moment. These are positive small changes you might like to try. Even if the new tried out thing didn't appeal to you, at least now you know what it's all about. So it's never a failure.

I don't think pretenses are very good. For example, I figure there's no use pretending you love the big wide open outdoors, camping, fishing and hunting, etc. if you really don't. I do think it's good if you can take turns doing what the other would like once in awhile, with no resentment and an open mind.

Yes, love/relationships require some work but this is also true of friendships. Any kind of human interaction has a give and take to it. All based on respect I think. It's the daily contact with a partner which may bring out the friction of our likes and dislikes. Hopefully, by being oneself, both parties can judge if they are compatible or not before settling in together.
Just some thoughts....
Well put. To have a great relationship " hear with your ears but listen with the heart".
cron