After my divorce in 2013, and for 2 or 3 years subsequent to that, the idea of dating again was about the furthest thing from my mind. Contrary to what my closest friends (and some family members) thought might be best for me - to get out there and meet someone - just hadn't entered the realm of my thinking. Being so soon after the divorce, and to be perectly honest, it felt tre-mendously shallow to even entertain the idea.
My entire life had changed as I knew it. The details of my life had become very different; I felt as if I was drifting in unchartered waters looking for a shoreline that just wasn't there. While my friends seemed to envy my "freedom", I was struggling inside to hang onto my lifejacket and reconstruct my life.
But within the last year or so, I've noticed a big change in the way I view the entire dating situation. After nearly 3 years of reorganizing my new life into one as a single individual, I had had plenty of time to think.
I believe many of us, if not most, have a specific image of the type of partner we want: Good-looking, tall, short, blonde, brunette, funny, intelligent, clever, and so on. I believe we nurture this imaginary person in our minds, and without realizing it, possibly reject partners that may be ideal for us.
All of this said, it begs the question: "How important is physical attraction?" I believe it differs with each and every individual, and can be purely subjective. For me, it may be a look in the eye, it may be the way she walks, ect., not necessarily the way she "looks". Speaking for myself, I imagine my ideal partner as a mindset, a certain personality, a set of specific morals and values, grounded, with simple wants and needs - not a vivid image of outward beauty and materialistic needs. So for me, it requires talking and connecting and taking time to get to know someone.
I think the answer may lie in keeping an open mind with the people we meet, and perhaps taking a little more time than we normally do to see past the surface of what we want them to be. Right at this moment, there is someone on this planet feeling exactly as you feel. And right at this moment, there is someone on this planet wanting the exact same things out of life that you want. Millions of people perhaps, are living a life paralell to your own, and more often than not, we don't take the time to find out.