I feel embarrassed to ask this question at this age. Unfortunately, I have been wandered by this question for years and years. I don't know if I have ever loved.
I know that there is no specific and detailed definition in any dictionary of different languages. Every individuals may have their very own definition about love---I mean the love between people other than relatives.
By English definition: love is a a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
but what degree of tender and affection can be called love? The attraction can be physical and emotional. Both attraction can cause people have passionate affections even chemistry reactions.
which is love?
I have experienced tender but not very profoundly and affection but not passionate enough. Can those feelings be considered love? I really don't know...

Folks, what is your definition of love? what kind of feelings do you have when you think you are in love?

Thanks in advance for joining in the discussion.
True love is when you would give your life for the other person.
 
True love is wonderful, the most wonderful thing in a life.  There are no words though to explain the feeling of true love.   We have to live it to know it...  We love more than ourselves.  True love happens probably just once in a life...   :)
Love isn't.....   Manipulation : " If you love me then you would...".   Compromising who you are :  "If someone asks you to do or say something that isn't in your nature, that isn't true love.  Someone who is in love with you will never ask you to change who you are in order to be loved."   Violent :  "Relationship with physical or emotionnal violence isn't true love."   Just lust : " Chemistry and physical attraction are important but true love also includes commitment, trust and respect."    True love is...  caring, attractive, attached, commited and intimate.   -  Unknown.
crasylady wrote: True love is when you would give your life for the other person.
 

Thank you~~
By this definition, I have definitely not experienced the true love in my life time.
Have you experienced the true love?
Chokko, thank you very much for your reply.
"Chemistry and physical attraction are important but true love also includes commitment, trust and respect." True love is caring, attractive, attached, commited and intimate. "
Yes, this is the love I expect for. But I haven't met.
Is there really a kind of love can reach all the elements above?
I heard that there is a research shows that the attractiveness of love only lasts an half to one year. Is it true? If yes, when the attractiveness goes down, does the intimacy last long? :D :D :D
About 100 years ago, all marriages in China were arranged marriage. once a woman married with a man, she had to stay with the husband forever unless she die. those marriages had fully commitment. I would say that they didn't have choices. they were told to commit to their families and marriages and husbands so they did. I would not want to call those committed and stabled relationship as love.
In the modern society, people have all the freedom to meet people and make decisions and to love. But divorce rate become 50% around. I want to believe that they loved each other at the beginning of their relationships, so I am thinking what's wrong with the love? :D :D :D
Hi...  Real love is probably rare but it exists for some people.  Respect and trust are very important in a relationship.     Love is not perfect and people are not perfect...   Sometimes maybe there are not a lot of attractiveness at the beginning of the relationship, so the intimate does not last long though, but maybe I am wrong.  It is always sad when the intimate stop in a relationship, I am always sorry for that.     I really hope that people love each others at the beginning of their relationship ... but they are different kinds of love.    There are a lot of divorces now for different reasons.   People have the choice if they are not happy to go away...it is better though than to be not  happy together, it is not always good for children when the parents are not happy together though.    Arranged marriages are not always a good thing... and it is not always love.   Life is not always easy for some women though...   When you will find love you will know in your heart, you will feel it. Always listen to your heart.   I always believed  that love exist and I still believe....    I do not know what is wrong with love, I just know that we are human and that we are not perfect...  :D   If a relationship do not work with a person it does not mean it will not work with another person, we all deserve to be happy...   Love can be so simple and also so complicated...  but we all need love in a way or another... in our life.  Love is different for each person.  I hope I am not all wrong with this reply...    :D
roamingcloud wrote:
crasylady wrote: True love is when you would give your life for the other person.
 

Thank you~~
By this definition, I have definitely not experienced the true love in my life time.
Have you experienced the true love?

Yes I have been very lucky. I was married for16 years and have 3 kids.
Got divorce.  
Then I meat my late husband. we had a great marrige for 20 years.
We had ups and downs but we trusted and loved each other. We were best friends. 
roamingcloud wrote: I feel embarrassed to ask this question at this age. Unfortunately, I have been wandered by this question for years and years. I don't know if I have ever loved.
I know that there is no specific and detailed definition in any dictionary of different languages. Every individuals may have their very own definition about love---I mean the love between people other than relatives.
By English definition: love is a a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
but what degree of tender and affection can be called love? The attraction can be physical and emotional. Both attraction can cause people have passionate affections even chemistry reactions.
which is love?
I have experienced tender but not very profoundly and affection but not passionate enough. Can those feelings be considered love? I really don't know...

Folks, what is your definition of love? what kind of feelings do you have when you think you are in love?

Thanks in advance for joining in the discussion.




I think more about the consequences of love, rather than the love itself. Speaking from a man's point of view, the feeling of love is euphoric without reason, a drunken feeling of pleasure that is not always warranted, since your system may be totally void of alchohol. Love manifests itself by making you feel smug toward the world, you're in a constant state of elation when sometimes sad things are happening around you. you often cannot eat or sleep normally when you're in love. You never question, when you're first exposed to love, which can make you fall victim to life's hazards.

And it's while you're ambling around in this stupified state, incapable of negotiating the simplest of transactions, making little sense to anyone but yourself, babbling the most insignificant drivel, because your sap-like brain is swimming to your earholes in Dopamine, that society expects you to take an abrupt mental one-eighty, and make one of the most important, as well as lasting decisions of your idiotic life...Ask somebody to marry you!

After which, if your aim is good and the lady in question has no brain at all, you will both retire to the darkness of a cloistered bedroom to breed, making even more copies of yourselves. Makes one wonder how we progressed from the cave, or, depending on your religious befliefs, wish that Noah and his crew had missed the boat.
Ckokko, for the discussion, there are no wrong or right opinions to me. there are only different opinions, just as the definition of Love. Every one may have their own definitions about love. :D :D
During the discussion, I may friendly pick out some points to debate a little for fun. :D :D
Since the language barrier, I may say something looks like direct or rude, please forgive me. I don't want to be mean to anyone. If it happens, it must because I don't know how to say it politely.
Hope I didn't give you hard time. :)

your reply is very helpful for me to rethink about love. thank you very much for your participating. :wink:
Hello Roamingcloud. Thank you for this  great discussion about love.   You do not  say something direct or rude, hope I do not too...  :D   It is always great to know how other people think.  You do not give me hard time, I love to write...   :)    I must be a dreamer to still believe in love...  but love for me is a wonderful thing even if it is not always perfect.  There are always up and down in a relationship but it is life...     : :D    
Image
crasylady wrote:
roamingcloud wrote:
crasylady wrote: True love is when you would give your life for the other person.
 

Thank you~~
By this definition, I have definitely not experienced the true love in my life time.
Have you experienced the true love?

Yes I have been very lucky. I was married for16 years and have 3 kids.
Got divorce.  
Then I meat my late husband. we had a great marrige for 20 years.
We had ups and downs but we trusted and loved each other. We were best friends. 

How lucky you are.
I have been married 25 years. My mother in-law and father in-law were my colleague. They ask an other colleague introduced me to be a matchmaker to introduce their son to me. two years later, he became my husband. I would say that I didn't have chemistry with him but I also don't dislike him. In addition, because his parents are my colleague, I felt hard to refuse him, so we got married and have 2 children.
During those years, most of the time he treats me good and I feel like that I am spoiled by him. He does house work at home. he takes care kids. He made me appreciate him many times by doing things for me and for the family. But at the same time, I feel very very lonely in emotional level.
our personal type and interests are very different. there are no effective communication between us. It is difficult to talk to him since we are not thinking in a same level. An other one is that he doesn't like me to do the things I like to do. I feel like I am controlled. Sometimes I feel suffocated at home.
He doesn't like me to do anything by myself. it is because of no trust. Whenever I want to go out to do something, he will ask all the details and decide if he allowed me to go. I do volunteering and learning dancing (Chinese traditional dance), he doesn't want me go out by myself unless he feel save. Even I want to go shopping, he also send me to the mall. he would find many reasons to go with me--- He like to send me there or He worry about the safety since I don't know the place.......
Sometimes, I want to live by myself and do continue my dancing learning and to give myself a change. But when I think of my children and what my husband have done for me, I feel guilty to leave them. It makes me confused and hard to make decision.
Chokko wrote: Hello Roamingcloud. Thank you for this  great discussion about love.   You do not  say something direct or rude, hope I do not too...  :D   It is always great to know how other people think.  You do not give me hard time, I love to write...   :)    I must be a dreamer to still believe in love...  but love for me is a wonderful thing even if it is not always perfect.  There are always up and down in a relationship but it is life...     : :D    


shake hands, Chokko. I like to think and write too. I wish I could have more time to be here. :)
I had a wonderful feelings with the one I talked before. I could feel that he was very happy and excited to communicate with me. But when he said something intimate, I didn't want to continue the topic since I felt guilty and also I don't have enough courage to leave my family to follow him. This made me doubt if I loved him or just love to communicate with him as a soul-mate?
I guess it made him think I don't like him or I didn't care him enough. He is very sensitive.
I have a high expectation about love, I guess. :D
Hi Roamingcloud. I read your two last posts.   I think you need to have a good talk with your husband.   Before to make a decision so important about leaving, you must try to have a good conversation with him.  Give another chance to your relationship, then you will see, and if you decide to leave you will have no regrets.  Try to have a good conversation, it looks like you need to talk and need to be listen.  Here there are a lot of people to listen and to talk with you.   I think you love communicate and  also need to communicate.  Sometimes we try to find what we need and do not have outside the relationship, this is why communication is so important in a relationship.   You have to tell to your husband how you feel, hoping he will listen to you... and he will have to learn to trust you though...   :)   You must try...     I think that in our 50 (50 years old), we have a lot of questions that we do not have before... :D  That is what happen to me though... :D