I am on a couple of dating sites. Many men say they are looking for a honest caring person. Yet, when it comes down to it they are looking for so much more than just that... Appears to be looking for many other things, including a certain look/fitness level/financial level.

I am wondering why not just say that up front?  I enjoy it when someone is forthright about what they are looking for. What do you think?    
I think that a lot of that if people post what they are really looking for then they would scare off many so they just dont want to mention that part at the begining of thier started relashionship  with someone even if it is only conversation,another reason is they dont feel the same way you do as to honesty right from the start.
hi, well my friend, some people really are looking for honesty first and formost, as honesty comes in many shapes and ways, truthfulness, being my main thing in anything or anyone, and if i seek honesty/truthfulness, then i have to possess the same yeah?, I personally cannot say what i am really looking for on dating sites, as i dont know what im looking for, just an honest FRIEND to get to know, and who knows where things may or may not go from there... so i just give honesty as my main thing.
hope i didnt confuse anyone (as much as this confused me!! ) lol.
Take care for now
Keep Smilin'
Wolfie. xx.
Evolving wrote: I am on a couple of dating sites. Many men say they are looking for a honest caring person. Yet, when it comes down to it they are looking for so much more than just that... Appears to be looking for many other things, including a certain look/fitness level/financial level.

I am wondering why not just say that up front?  I enjoy it when someone is forthright about what they are looking for. What do you think?    


To me they are "Players"
Evolving wrote: I am on a couple of dating sites. Many men say they are looking for a honest caring person. Yet, when it comes down to it they are looking for so much more than just that... Appears to be looking for many other things, including a certain look/fitness level/financial level.

I am wondering why not just say that up front?  I enjoy it when someone is forthright about what they are looking for. What do you think?    


It seems to me that people say what they think others want them to say (complete bull s--t ) in my eyes , what makes it worse is that when things go tits up because both parties are singing from different hymm sheets they wonder why .
Im not going to lie and say that a flabby 50 something year old looks as good as a pert 30yr old but the reality is that we all at some point in life have to except that we are not as fit as we once were.
Most on this site are either divorced or seperated and looking for excitement in one form or another so why do they all kid thereselves into thinking that they are such a good catch when they couldnt make previous relationships work .
At a guess i would say that 50% on here are looking to find a little bit of youth , Excitement , thrills , good sex but i could be wrong and undoubtably will be told so by all the do gooders .

My advise to all is stretch your legs and enjoy yourself , be seductive , be tentative , be alive as its no dress rehearsal .
ENJOY LIFE WHILE YOU STILL CAN best of luck
Its a good point Evolving as its often hard to ascertain how honest others are being about themselves and what they are looking for. I agree that some people are superficial and dont really look at the person behind the profile and face. It can take time to find out what others really want; sometimes they dont really know what they want! The chatroom is a good place to get to know people better and most of the regular chatters are friendly and welcoming.
Evolving wrote: I am on a couple of dating sites. Many men say they are looking for a honest caring person. Yet, when it comes down to it they are looking for so much more than just that... Appears to be looking for many other things, including a certain look/fitness level/financial level.

I am wondering why not just say that up front?  I enjoy it when someone is forthright about what they are looking for. What do you think?    


I'm new on dating sites and I agree this comment, from what I've seen so far. Perhaps some people are reluctant to say what they really want for fear of generating no interest in themselves. I was upfront with what I'm looking for and the response hasn't been very good. But, at least when I do receive a contact we will both hopefully be closer to a good match.
feelingthirty wrote:
Evolving wrote: I am on a couple of dating sites. Many men say they are looking for a honest caring person. Yet, when it comes down to it they are looking for so much more than just that... Appears to be looking for many other things, including a certain look/fitness level/financial level.

I am wondering why not just say that up front?  I enjoy it when someone is forthright about what they are looking for. What do you think?    


It seems to me that people say what they think others want them to say (complete bull s--t ) in my eyes , what makes it worse is that when things go tits up because both parties are singing from different hymm sheets they wonder why .
Im not going to lie and say that a flabby 50 something year old looks as good as a pert 30yr old but the reality is that we all at some point in life have to except that we are not as fit as we once were.
Most on this site are either divorced or seperated and looking for excitement in one form or another so why do they all kid thereselves into thinking that they are such a good catch when they couldnt make previous relationships work .
At a guess i would say that 50% on here are looking to find a little bit of youth , Excitement , thrills , good sex but i could be wrong and undoubtably will be told so by all the do gooders .

My advise to all is stretch your legs and enjoy yourself , be seductive , be tentative , be alive as its no dress rehearsal .
ENJOY LIFE WHILE YOU STILL CAN best of luck

That was an awesome response. Personally, I am not looking for youth. My youth sucked. I am looking for a guy that can get in touch with his feelings. I while know many a woman that complains about that not happening in their relationships I think sometimes an old dog can learn new tricks from a new master (or mistress). Sometimes, I think people do learn new ways to commmunicate but there is so much crap in old relationships you get stuck. Too many hurt feelings.
Hey, I joined this site more as an avenue to meet people and chat to like minded folks. Hopefully to make friendships with people. Do you have to be looking for a date when you come on sites like this? Can you not just chat, get to know people, then if things develop good and well.
I can only speak for myself. For me honesty is important in any relationship, whether that be with a friend, partner or children.   Honesty builds trust and no relationship can survive without trust.  

As I said, my two cents worth!

 
What a great subject and so many different approaches to how people act on what they want in any relationship. The first thing I have to say is I never give advise to anyone all I can do is tell you about myself. I am lonely and I would love to have someone in my life to share with, I believe that it is impossible to be over 50 and not have some form of baggage. I have lived a life and so I have had good things happen to me and not so good things happen to me and yet I know it is all in the past today is another day. I get to choose if something good happens or something not so good happens and I know that from experience, not from what someone else told me but from my life, my life lived in the real world where I make mistakes and I see others make mistakes. And yet I need to remember thats all that I have done is made a mistake and it only needs correction it is not a sin and no one has to die and I get on with it and keep loving and keep smiling and life just gets better.
I am responsible for what I want in my life and no one else. It is up to me to tell others how I am and what I need and by doing that I am responsible. And I can honestly say I will more than likely keep making mistakes because I still have not mastered this walking on water business. So if anyone would like to have a chat just drop me a message and I promise I will get back to you even if that is just to say thanks but no thanks.
So keep on loving yourself and if you cant I will keep loving you until the day comes when you can love yourself.
Tony1957
Evolving, I completely agree with you. Mind you, I have posted that I am looking for a honest person and the reason is, that in my previous relationship I was betrayed and lied to. This time I would like to eliminate that kind of trouble from the beginning if at all possible. Everyone wants more than honesty, I think honesty is a thing that should automatically be there and if it is not there, there is no need for friendship/relationship. Ultimately we all want to share our life with someone, whatever way we put it in.
Hi,
As I read everything that was said about this topic I thought wow, I think we all want to find a honest open relationship with someone. I have made mistakes in my life and I really hope I have learned from my mistakes and am able to be a better person and much more honest. I know that I have to be honest with myself and anyone else in my life to be happy. I have learned to say NO and tell people how I really feel and what I really want in my life. I have learned it the hard way, but it has been a very good lesson. It is important to let other know exactly what u need and want from a relationship BUT first we have to become best friends and share all. I really like this sight the chat room has helped me so much there are so many wonderful people in this world!! I hope everyone smiles and laughs everyday and never forget how to play-enjoy each day and cherish all your friendships.
Tony1957 wrote: What a great subject and so many different approaches to how people act on what they want in any relationship. The first thing I have to say is I never give advise to anyone all I can do is tell you about myself. I am lonely and I would love to have someone in my life to share with, I believe that it is impossible to be over 50 and not have some form of baggage. I have lived a life and so I have had good things happen to me and not so good things happen to me and yet I know it is all in the past today is another day. I get to choose if something good happens or something not so good happens and I know that from experience, not from what someone else told me but from my life, my life lived in the real world where I make mistakes and I see others make mistakes. And yet I need to remember thats all that I have done is made a mistake and it only needs correction it is not a sin and no one has to die and I get on with it and keep loving and keep smiling and life just gets better.
I am responsible for what I want in my life and no one else. It is up to me to tell others how I am and what I need and by doing that I am responsible. And I can honestly say I will more than likely keep making mistakes because I still have not mastered this walking on water business. So if anyone would like to have a chat just drop me a message and I promise I will get back to you even if that is just to say thanks but no thanks.
So keep on loving yourself and if you cant I will keep loving you until the day comes when you can love yourself.
Tony1957


Well said tony1957. From reading other comments here I realise what I want. Honestly, I want Love, Romance, Friendship and all the other ingredients that make up a good relationship between a man and a woman. I believe that it is not about age, good looks or anything like that. Its chemistry between two people.
I think we all have expectations. We say we want honesty, caring, warmth from someone, but oftentimes when it is offered we reject it. Why? Because the person in some way does not fill our preconceived ideas about what we think we want. I believe we really must throw looks out of the window. The person inside is the person we are looking for. The most beautiful people I have met in my life were those who, though not necessarily meeting the requirements society has set forth for beauty or manliness, were otherwise filled with life, joy, activity, and humor. Their soul, if you will, was full of light and energy. Yes there are those who will use a dating site for quick hookups in some out of the way place. And yes, I have done this myself, when I was younger and still learning. Now, I just want to enjoy being with someone my age, who has known tragedy, joy, ecstasy, and defeat, and has survived to tell the tale. Each person is a unique and wonderful story to be told. I just want to listen and learn.