On being widowed many years ago after 22yrs of marriage, l went through the normal shock and grief,
following that, strange expectations that friends, neighbours, would rally round with a stream of invites to their home, meals, outings, whilst the local males would offer to do heavy garden maintenance work when seeing me struggling, neither happened much at all, some wives think of you as a threat, be it neither you or their husbands are interested, so we learn, and have a go at all manner of jobs,
cistern, ubends, putting shelves up,be it theyre a bit fragile, limited weight load, hands and knee,s cursing the vac, then using a drill,jigsaw, hedge cutters, decorating shared before now done alone. With all the practical problems, crisis, you do learn and manage, most of the time. The worst is loneliness, much of the time you get by ok with a friend, neighbourly chat, family get togethers, but sometimes, for me usually bank holidays, sundays, the times when as a couple you are most likely to set off, countryside, coast, dine out, its about missing sharing, a chat, laugh, problems, plans, filling the gaps. One son lives a fair distance so see rarely, the other more regular for short chats, love the company of my 2 dogs and 2 cats, be lost without them, also my garden. Someone arranged a first date in a foursome, stange experience, chatted well enough, but not attracted and couldnt get beyond chatting, as if looking for a clone of partner before l could take it further, but time goes by, so its settle for being in a safe comfortable rut, or take new challenges, activities and meeting new people. Decided on the latter, as its true you regret what you dont do, about giving it a go, try courses, first i.t, which has been worthwhile for internet benafits, tai chi, dancing, limping afterwards, art, church groups, creative writing, feel a bit like bono, not the voice, `still havent found what l,m looking for` so keep looking, whilst trying to ignore the health problems, just be as happy as l can.