Girl: If we get married, you must stop smoking.
Boy: Ok.
Girl: Drinking too.
Boy: Ok.
Girl: Going to night clubs too.
Boy: Ok.
Girl: and watching soccer with your boys too.
Boy: Ok.
Girl: What else can you leave?
Boy: The idea of marrying you
I hate it when I buy a bag of packaged air and find potato chips in it. Ticks me off....
hahahaha, thanks for the jokes everyone.....
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.
One is a retired pilot in his late sixties and the
other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion.
He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history.
Here's your equipment --chair, whip and a gun.
Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair,
the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.

The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.
About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to
her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues
to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor.
He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life."
He then turns to the retired pilot and asks, "Can you top that?"
The tough old pilot replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of there."
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Sexual innuendo is a hard topic to stay on top of. As a humor tool, it stands erect in the English language. While there are no hard and fast rules...
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Wife: Honey before we got married , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelery.
Husband: Yes... so ?
Wife: How come you don't do it anymore ?
Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fish after catching it? :D
Why did the squirrel cross the road?

It was stapled to the Chicken's back!
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:D ... :lol: Image :lol: Image :D ... :lol: