I was born in Canada.  -  Which part?  -  All of me... :lol:
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.  "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home."   :D
Two children are taking...    Peter : "Meet my new born brother."   Mary :  "Oh, he is so handsome!  What's his name?  Peter : "I don't know.  I can't understand a word he says."  :)
There was a little baby boy and a little baby girl.  Then the baby boy goes "I'm a boy, you are a girl..."   Then the girl goes "How do you know?"  The little boy goes "I'll show you when the nurse leaves.  So about ten minutes later, the nurse leaves.  So the boy lifts up his gown and goes..."See, I have Blue Booties and you have Pink!"   :D  
During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."


Thanks to: David A. Martin - Mason City - Iowa - USA.
What do you call a bug with manners?
A lady bug
:)


Thanks to: Chris Basica - Upland - Ca - USA.
What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight?     Don't look I'm changing!!!    :D
Two ladies walking in the night in Hamburg / Germany, looking to the moon. The first one says "What do you think is more far away - the moon or New York?" Says the other one " hello :shock: , can you see New York?"

Sorry for my bad english, I learn :wink:
It's been a rough day.  I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off.  I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off.  I am afraid to go to the bathroom!!!   :D
A man walks into a chemists shop(drugstore in US!) and says to the lady at the counter "Do you have anything for complete loss of voice?" The lady said "Good morning sir, can I help you?"
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye.   :shock:   I don't worry. I don't cry.  I'm just happy that cow can't fly...
It's interesting how we hear things.

I've always heard that as:

"Birdy birdy in the sky, I'm sure glad that cows don't fly." (It's still cute!)

However, I think this is one of my favorites:



The New Pastor

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times

.Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10." Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter.

NOTE:Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."


Enjoy!
It's interesting how we hear things.

I've always heard that as:

"Birdy birdy in the sky, why did you do that in my eye/ I'm sure glad that cows don't fly." (It's still cute!)

However, I think this is one of my favorites:



The New Pastor

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times

.Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10." Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter.

NOTE:Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."


Enjoy!
It's interesting how we hear things.

I've always heard that as:

"Birdy birdy in the sky, I'm sure glad that cows don't fly." (It's still cute!)

However, I think this is one of my favorites:

The New Pastor

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times.Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10." Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter.

NOTE:Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."
Two tigers were resting under a tree...  Suddently a rabbit passed very fast.  The first tiger could not make out and asked "What was that?"   2nd tiger smiled and said "Fast Food".   :lol: