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One of the most devastating experiences in anyone’s life is ending a relationship with a lover or a spouse. It does not matter what caused the breakdown in the relationship. When emotions are involved, a breakup can result in much hurt and bitterness, especially when one lover thought that this was a lifelong relationship. Life does not always meet our expectations.We often enter the relationship with fantastic ideas- but we must face the reality that this individual is not our ideal partner, and we want out. Can we exit a relationship gracefully? Or does it not matter how we leave because we are unconcerned about our lovers' feelings? When we must terminate a relationship, we should do so positively to reduce the shock and disappointment that the abandoned lover might feel. If the rules below are applied, breaking up will be easier.
Timing is Important
Although it is difficult to determine which time is best to give unwelcome news, bad timing can make the situation even worse. Your spouse might be oblivious to your unhappiness. It would be ill-advised to announce that you want to leave when they are experiencing setbacks at work or dealing with family illnesses. While the desire to move on is understandable, be compassionate and conscientious. Consider and respect your partner’s feelings. Do all you can to diffuse the situation. Wait until the circumstances have improved, then you can share your intentions.
Maintain Your Composure
It is difficult to remain composed if your mate starts hurling insults after you share your desire to discontinue your relationship. Try to stay calm. Remember, this is a significant shock for your partner. If you must leave the room or the general surroundings to allow this person to regain self-control, do so. Do not resort to trading of insults.
Avoid external influences!
Do your best to resist the temptation to share personal matters with close friends or family. Make up your mind about your final decision. If your family or friends never liked your mate, it is doubtful that they will have balanced views about your partner. On the other hand, if your mate is well-liked and respected, they may find it challenging to support your decision, so do what make you comfortable.
Think About the Setting
The environment can make a difference. Choose a friendly and cozy environment to reveal your intentions, like a favorite restaurant. Even though you are sharing shocking news, the environment could have a soothing impact and reduce the possibility of an explosive situation. If your partner has a volatile temper, it’s best to have other people around to provide some element of control.
You should always end a romantic relationship in person, not by phone or email. Try to retain some level of respect and consideration for your partner’s feelings. If your history was good but you now feel that you should move on, have a face-to-face conversation. Do not attempt a face-to-face meeting, if the relationship is an abusive one.
Allow Time for Communication
If you initiated the breakup, you should allow your partner time to process the information. State your feelings without embellishments. Give some time for questions and clarifications. If necessary, arrange an extended period of discussions if you are co-owners of businesses or other properties. Get professional and legal help so that there will be a fair distribution of wealth.
Take Time Out
When a relationship ends, you should spend time alone to recuperate and reflect. A thorough assessment of your feelings and future is therapeutic. Rushing into a new romance is not the best decision. It could also give your rejected partner the impression that the relationship was not valuable to you, since you have moved on so quickly.
If you are serious about moving on, do not be to be swayed by tears or pleading. You cannot be indecisive about such a serious matter; remember, this decision could have a long-term effect on you as well as your partner. State your intentions seriously and definitively.
Don’t Get Involved in the Blame Game
Persons who end relationships are distraught and will vent their anger on persons around them. The perceived offender will bear the brunt of this anger. Your partner has hurt you; but resist the desire to highlight all the negatives you experienced when you decide to leave. Staying positive will help you to make thetransition. Even if you are the rejected partner, try to manage your emotions. Losing your temper will only make you look worse.
Think About Your Decision
Be serious about cutting your ties to this person. Don't just declare that you are moving on because you are upset about something! Put serious thought into your decision. Think about the consequences. Your plans could involve changing your address or even separating from friends shared by both of you. When you speak about ending your relationship, the decision cannot be flippant. Speak only when you have decided to terminate the relationship.The end of a romantic attachment is a complicated process. Unbearable pain and disillusionment can result in depression. If you are the party that terminated the relationship, feelings of dejection may persist. However, life does not end with the relationship. Seek support from loved ones. Engage in positive activities that will help to maintain your mental health. Get help from a professional counselor or psychologist if you are not coping well.
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