Smart Ways To Deal With Rejection When Dating

Smart Ways To Deal With Rejection When Dating

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Frankly speaking, rejection hurts - no if, ands, or buts about it! Unfortunately, rejection is a part of dating. It's a sad truth we just have to accept.The good news is - you don't have to let rejection bring you down. Dating is often about finding out who we really are. This is especially true as we get older. Dating in our 50s, 60s, and beyond is often a great opportunity. We have likely been through a few relationships and likely been married - so we know a great deal about what we DON'T want when it comes to dating.Although rejection stings, we CAN deal with it in a healthy way. We can also add it to the things we learn that we do and don't want in a relationship. Rejection can also lead us to better, more positive relationships - it doesn't always have to be a negative on our lives.



1. Remind yourself that rejection is not always a direct reflection of anything you did or didn't do.


Some folks are simply not ready for a relationship. This could be for a number of reasons - previous relationships that went wrong, feeling he or she isn't over a former significant other, low self-esteem or perhaps someone just isn't ready to seriously date anyone. You have to accept that this can happen, and it's not your fault. Actually, it's really good to end a dating relationship because one of the partners isn't ready for a relationship rather than cause further hurt later on. Sometimes something that seems "bad" at the time is really a blessing in disguise.



2. Consider your overall rate of rejection, so to speak.


This is when you need to take a personal inventory. Have most of your relationships ended on fairly good terms? Were breakups mutual? Is it possible you have way more checks in the rejection column than you'd like to admit? Maybe it's time to take a look at yourself and how you might contribute to a breakup or rejection.Some experts recommend journaling to carry out this type of self-reflection. Be honest. You can burn the journal later, but it's time to be honest with yourself.If - and you more than likely will - you find that you have some character flaws that need to be improved - low self-confidence, for instance - a break-up is the perfect time to start working on yourself so that when the right partner does come along, you are in a great position to have a positive and lasting relationship.If you find that many of your break-ups are due to mutual feelings, then get ready for the next relationship. Think positive, and look for a positive individual with many of the character traits you're looking for in a partner.



3. Don't allow yourself to think negatively.


Again, don't beat yourself up after a rejection. Take inventory, and take any lessons learned on to your next relationship. Remind yourself that you will be happy, and there are good potential partners out there.



4. Learn how to be happy on your own.


Spend time with your friends and family. Engage in your hobbies. Read. Take a short trip out of town - on your own. Do some things that make YOU happy. To be honest, you'll never be happy in a relationship if you can't learn how to be happy by yourself. The best you will learn it's ok to love yourself first.



5. Don't engage in "revenge dating."


Don't try to make your former dating partner jealous. This really makes you look bad, and it can ruin the potential for you and your ex to be friends.Don't date too soon after a rejection, either. If you still have feelings for another person, you're really being unfair to your potential new partner.Heal from the hurt of the rejection before you hit the dating scene again.



6. Don't dwell on the rejection.


Having a tough night not feeling hurt after a rejection? Keep yourself busy. Practice positive thinking. When you feel down and lonely, make a point to get out of the house and do something productive, even if that means running an errand or going to grab a few groceries.Take up a new hobby, such as gardening or painting. Tackle a DIY project you've been putting off. Take a long drive to a scenic area near you (national parks are a GREAT idea). Exercise.Dealing with rejection is never fun, but remember that break-ups are a great time to take inventory of ourselves so that we are better prepared for future relationships. Keep your chin up, and remind yourself of your own worth. Rejection doesn't always have to be a bad thing. It just might lead you to where you were meant to be in the first place.


Photo: © Blacksalmon/

Editor, 07/22/2021